Love is the most natural emotion there is, but what if that special someone isn’t in our life? How do we attract that person who will share our spiritual values and add to our life?
When we give and receive love from another, we reflect divine love. Our minds, bodies and spirits connect at the deepest level when our hearts open to another. Love heals past hurts and renews our spirit. It inspires us with its power and brings us closer to Oneness.
When our hearts are engaged with love, we are present for the other, and in being so, we are present for ourselves as well. We live in the moment where each touch is a miracle and each kiss an eternity.
We were born to love. Our hearts reach out with longing to love another. We yearn to share our life with that special someone, that one that we can grow with and who will be next to us when we wake late into the night; the one with whom we can build a fulfilling life and loving family. We dream of how together the two of us we can inspire each other to do great work in the world.
Love is the most natural emotion there is, but what if that special someone isn’t in our life? How do we attract that person who will share our spiritual values and add to our life? Here are 12 practices to help attract love while continuing on the spiritual path.
1. Rewrite negative self-talk
We are all worthy of love. We know this intellectually, but the practice of actually feeling worthy is harder. We are scarred with hurts, betrayals and harmful self-talk. We carry the flaws of our history in a culture that says we should be this or that, all the while feeling we don’t measure up. To attract love, we must first love ourselves, but how do we overcome negative self-talk?
A small blank book can work wonders. On the left side of the page, write down any negative self-talk, and on the right side of the page, rewrite the negative into a positive. For example, a negative thought about a body image can be changed into gratitude for having a body and a self-promise to eat healthier foods.
No one will catch all the negative self-talk, but the more practice that’s done, the easier it becomes. Carrying around the small blank book acts as a reminder to listen to ourselves and catch that negative self-talk that is so destructive to attracting love. Loving self-talk helps us change how we feel about ourselves. We begin to love ourselves.
Practice this and watch how your glow of self-love attracts the love you want.
2. Be a gracious receiver
Unless we are open to receiving love, it cannot reach us. It is well and good to be on our spiritual journey and practice giving love to others, but too often we forget that our spiritual nature asks us to receive as well. Giving and receiving are like the in and out of the breath; one depends upon the other.
Receiving often is harder than giving for those of us on our spiritual journey. When we give we can look at ourselves and think what a good deed we have done, but when we receive, we often feel uncomfortable. Part of this is conditioning. As children we may have heard: It is better to give than to receive. But truth be told, when we are unable to graciously receive, we are caught in the fear of losing control. As long as we are the giver, we feel safe.
Practice gracious receiving. Start simple and work up to receiving love. When someone smiles, take it in with a breath before returning the smile. When given a gift, smile and say a sincere thank you.
Once we’ve learned the practice of gracious receiving, we open to receive love.
It’s not our work to make it happen. It is our work to believe. If we don’t believe the person we want to spend our life with exists then that’s the reality we create. If we do believe he or she exists, and we stay in the joy of knowing this, then the right person will appear at the right time.
When we believe in love, we bring our consciousness into vibrational harmony with love, which creates the energy force for love to manifest in our lives. Every time we ask when, or feel disappointed because we haven’t yet met, or start thinking we never will meet, we lower the vibrational harmony necessary to attract love.
Try this practice to help you to believe in love: Instead of saying, “When will we meet?” say, “Thank you for bringing the right love partner into my life,” and then allow yourself to experience the joy of being with the other. Dance around the room in joy. Go to sleep with thinking about the joy of love. Wake up thinking about love. Sing about how happy you are.
The more we believe in love and stay in its joy, the more our consciousness meets the vibrational harmony of love and attracts it to us.
4. Be lovable
Many ancient cultures see falling is love as a spiritual event. Our modern world too often sees falling in love as a sexual or romantic fantasy. This is especially true in the Western cultures, but more and more cultures are forgetting the spiritual aspect of falling in love. We forget that love and spirit are one, and falling in love allows us to connect with that deeper part of ourselves.
When we are falling in love, we see our lover through the eyes of spirit. We move past our fears and conditioning and see our own innocence as well as that of the one we love. When we call the beloved to us, we are also calling the Beloved; as we call the spirit of the other to us, we are also calling Spirit. As we come more fully to understand this truth, we move beyond love as an emotional state and embrace surrendering to the mystery of love itself.
It is here in the surrendering we find the truth of love. As the Roman poet Ovid said, “To love, be lovable.” When we practice being lovable, our energy changes, softens, and we attract love to us.
5. Embrace the unknown
Love may not be in our comfort zone. We may have to move out and away from where we feel safe emotionally and physically. This is not to say we need to put ourselves in emotional or physical danger. Indeed we should not. It is to say that we must be ready to take a leap of faith and meet the other in a physical space we’ve not yet explored. Once met, we must take the risk to open to our own vulnerability.
Neither is easy, but the reward is great.
To practice stepping out of a physical comfort zone, make a list of 10 places where a potential partner might be. Next, choose one of the places on the list, and go, even with knees shaking and heart pounding. Go to the discussion group or the conference or meditation in spite of any fear, and while there, take another leap of faith and step out of that comfort zone. Say hello to others, especially if there’s an attraction.
Have your phone number on a card and with a smile (and a deep breath) let that potential partner know a call would be welcomed.
6. See through spiritual eyes
The magical world of television and film portrays the idealized qualities of the perfect person. It’s easy to fall prey to this fictional characterization of what makes a loving mate, but doing so may keep the right person away.
Love necessitates seeing the other through spiritual eyes, but initial attraction doesn’t. We like to think that attraction is formed from spending other lifetimes together, and well it might be. It’s best to keep in mind though that attraction is an alchemy of many different factors, including old wounds, hurts and patterns.
We need to get past our conditioned responses to others and start seeing the spirit within. Easier said than done, but a possible–and a necessary–practice to attract love.
Make a list of the physical and personality characteristics of the ideal mate and then one-by-one question the validity of each characteristic. Is it really necessary that the other be shorter or taller than you? Can you only build a life with someone with a certain degree or income? Do you have to go to the same yoga class?
Be ruthless with cutting the list. Once done, make a new list with only three qualities that are needed in the other. This requires seeing past the physical and looking into the most important reason for coming together with the other–the spiritual union.
7. Make room for love
We need to make room for love to enter into our lives as well as our hearts. The beloved cannot enter when our lives are too busy for love. If our home is not welcoming, or our space too clutter, there is no room for the other to enter.
To open the energy for the loving partner we desire to enter into our lives, we need to make a few changes. We need to look at our schedules and ask ourselves where we could make these changes, and then spend that time in pursuits of where there is the possibility of meeting that special someone. Practice making time for another and the other will enter.
We also need to look around our home. Is it welcoming to another? Look around to see what changes need to be made to create a more welcoming environment for that special someone, and then make one change a day or one change a week. For example, exchange pictures that depict loneliness to more cheerful ones. Clean out a drawer and closet to make space for that special someone.
Making room for love opens the energy for love to come in.
8. Listen intuitively
Everyone has an intuitive ability. Call it gut instinct, a hunch, or intuition. It’s that inner voice of wisdom that will guide us toward love and that protects us from false starts.
Romance can be confusing. The attraction may be strong between two people, but does this mean they should spend their life together? Not always. We come together with another for a variety of reasons. The other may remind us of an old wound that needs to be healed before our life partner can enter; or the other may come to help us see a repeated pattern that needs to be recognized and changed; or the other may be our life partner, but his or her actions are confusing. Intuition can help.
Learn to listen to those small inner whisperings of intuition. Journaling is a powerful way to connect with this innate inner wisdom. Sit quietly and just start writing. It takes about three to five pages of writing to reach the quiet mind where intuition resides. Once you feel your mind quiet, write down a question, and then write the answer. Don’t question the answers. When you feel finished, go back and reread what you’ve intuition has counseled you.
9. Live with ambiguity
In a world where security is sought, living with ambiguity can be unnerving at best, but it’s where love is.
Love asks us to live in its mystery, in its ambiguity. It asks us to let go of expectations of what love is, of what romance is, of what the other should be like, and embrace the unknown. Like life, love is never quite what we expect it to be, but once we are able to go with the flow, we find the most unexpected surprises waiting just around the next bend in the road. Once we let go of what we think should happen, the Universe works to provide us with that which is much greater.
It’s the letting go and learning to live with ambiguity that is difficult. To make it easier, perform this releasing ritual. Blow up a dozen balloons. On each balloon, use a marker to write a word or two that represents your expectations about love. Stomp on each balloon one at a time. As each balloon pops, remind yourself that you are releasing this expectation.
When all the balloons are popped, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself. You have taken a giant step toward allowing the mystery of love to enter.
10. Fall in love with you
We need to love ourselves before we are able to attract love to us and to truly love another. If we don’t feel loveable, how can we expect someone else to love us? Love is not about being rescued. It is about two people who feel worthy of love finding each other. To find that special soulmate, first fall in love with you.
Take care of yourself by taking care of your body, mind and spirit. Every day nurture yourself with positive thoughts about who you are. For example, before going to bed at night, write down at least one thing that you appreciate about yourself. Take care of your body by eating foods that nourish you, exercise and thanking your body for its health and energy. Take care of your spirit through meditation and other spiritual practices.
Love begins at home, so when you look into the mirror, tell yourself that you are loved, and love will reflect back at you.
11. Be clear about what you want
We claim we want love one minute and the next we move out of the consciousness of love. Unless we are clear about what we want, and are willing to make any changes needed to attract our life partner, we end up sending mixed signals to the Universe.
What’s a Universe to do? Probably not give us what we are wishy-washy about.
Before we can clarify what we want the Universe to provide for us, we must first clarify the desired in our own mind. This requires blunt honesty, sometimes hard to come by when dealing with deep emotions, but necessary when clearing the way for love.
Sit in a chair with your spine straight and feet flat on the floor. Put another chair directly in front of you. In one chair is the you who wants love; in the other is the you who pushes love away. Sit in the first chair and state a reason you want love, and then sit in the other chair and counter it with why you don’t want love. Continue this process, alternating chairs until you have recognized where you are pushing love away and you are able to stop and send a clear message to the Universe that you truly do want your soul partner.
12. Use active visualization
Active visualization is one of the most powerful practices we can use to manifest love. Active visualization is a twofold process. First, sit quietly for about 30 seconds at least once a day and say a prayer of thanks for love and for the right life partner entering your life. While expressing gratitude for love, open your heart to love, experiencing a feeling of wellbeing and joy.
The second part of active visualization is to actively use the power of imagination to experience the loving energy of another in our life. It is important to not have anyone specific in mind. Instead, experience the emotion of a loving energy near you while going about the day. Imagine cooking with another, for example, or feeling another beside you in bed, or even having a conversation.
This may seem strange at first, but practice helps. Again, this is not about imagining a specific person, but about experiencing love energy. This energy moves out into the ethers, allowing spirit to connect life partners to one another at the right time and the right place.
With this practice, it’s most common for moments of excitement to spring up for no apparent reason. This is delightful to experience and confirmation we are in the vibrational harmony of love, which attracts that lifelong love partner to us.
There are many books and articles on finding a partner. You may have read some of them, but the practices suggested here are more than attracting an intimate mate. Actively engaging in these 12 powerful spiritual practices to attract love will take us to a new level of love that allows us to connect with the depth of ourselves, as well as bringing into our lives the partner with whom we can build a loving and fulfilling relationship. The loving partnership will be formed as one of the spirit, as well as one of the body and mind.
A spiritual union brings forth a deeper, richer and more committed relationship, providing both partners with the opportunity to gently, and with love and understanding, help one another look into themselves to see where growth needs to take place. Our hearts open to new depths and understanding of ourselves and our place on this earth.
Our journey, both individually and as a couple, deepens and broadens as we seek new horizons and find new patterns that allow us to fulfill our life’s mission. As humans we are meant to love. As spiritual beings we are love. In coming to understand this, we find the truth of who we are and the truth of the loving partner we desire in our lives.
Remember, the love you seek is seeking you at this very moment. Stay in the energy of love and love together.