Do you ever have a problem starting conversations with women because you don’t know what to talk about? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Well, maybe not the best, but it does happen to a lot of us. Do you remember the movie Big Daddy, when the little kid said, “Initiating conversation is half the battle?” The point is that jumpstarting a conversation with women out of thin air can difficult. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be like that. If you need one, here is your cheat sheet of conversation topics that will pique a woman’s interest and get her talking to you.
Here are the Awesome things to talk about with a girl
This sounds easy enough, right? Women almost always enjoy talking about their own interests, so get them talking about that. If you’re a little nervous or shy to talk to someone at first, it’s usually best to find a way to get them to dominate the conversation and do most of the talking. That should be easy enough if you can get the girl started on one of her hobbies. Just try to ask he something like, “What do you like to do in your spare time?” or “What do you do when you’re not working?” From there, you may have to ask a few follow-up questions to keep the conversation going, at least until she mentions something that you two have in common. Really, that’s the ultimate goal, just finding a hobby or interest that you two share that can get the conversation flowing more naturally.
Unless she has crazy family drama or a history of issues with her parents, most women will enjoy talking about their family, so this should be an easy topic to bring up. It’s not necessarily a great ice-breaker, but it’s a good topic to move to once you’re a little more established in conversation. Just try to ask a simple leading question about whether she has siblings or if she’s close with her parents. Hopefully, she doesn’t give you a super-depressing answer involving a death in the family or being estranged from her parents. If you don’t want to take that risk, you can always start out with an interesting anecdote about you and your family. That might strike a chord with her and get her to start sharing information about her family, which should move the conversation along.
You usually can’t go wrong in talking about vacations. It’s not like you’re going to find someone who has a negative view of the subject. To introduce the subject, you may have to bring up a memorable vacation you have. Just don’t make it sound like you’re bragging. For example, if your family once rented a private island in the Caribbean, keep it to yourself because no one’s going to be able to relate to that. You’d also be wise to keep your vacation anecdote short and sweet so you can quickly move on to asking her about a memorable vacation. Remember, it’s usually best to get her to do most of the talking, so move onto her vacation memories as soon as possible.
4. Favorite Foods
This is another no-brainer for conversation topics because it’s something that everyone loves talking about. On top of that, it’s not particularly difficult or weird to use favorite foods as an ice-breaker. If you want to mix it up a little bit, you can ask a question like: “What would you want your last meal on earth to be?” This is another good way to look for things you share in common. Keep in mind that food can be a powerful aphrodisiac, so liking the same food could be a good sign. Asking a woman about her favorite foods and restaurants is also a good way to dig for information. If she mentions a specific restaurant or type of food she likes, it provides you with an easy transition into asking her out on a date to go eat that food or visit that restaurant together. Plus, if you’re a meat lover and she’s a vegan, it’s best to know that right away so you don’t waste your time, right?
5. Pop Culture
Pop culture may be the single most fundamental conversation topic when speaking with women. It’s also an easy ice-breaker, like, “Have you seen that new movie yet?” or “What are you binging on Netflix these days?” The key is to stick to your wheelhouse. If you don’t know anything about art, don’t ask her about art. If you don’t read much, don’t mention books. Once again, you’re probing for something that you two have in common, so if you two both love the same movie or TV show, you can talk about that for a long time. Just don’t forget that eventually you want to have her do most of the talking. At some point, you have to find out her favorite movie or book or whatever and get her talking about that at length.
Keeping It Simple
1. Work Life
It’s a bit cliche to ask someone about what they do for a living soon after meeting them, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad topic of conversation. Obviously, you should share what you do for work at some point, but as usual, you want to put the focus on her. Ask her what she does for a living, how she got into that line of work, and whether or not she enjoys it. More importantly, ask about what she wants to do. When you talk to women, it’s almost always important to get them talking about their passions, dreams, and goals for the future. This is probably one of the topics they enjoy discussing the most, and asking what they do for a living can be a good way to get to that topic.
2. College Days
There’s nothing wrong with re-living your college days when talking to women. Odds are, it was an important part of your life, so it’s definitely worth talking about. If you have a particularly funny or interesting anecdote from your college days, it can be used as a good ice-breaker soon after meeting someone. Hopefully, it’ll get her talking about her college experience and share her best stories. Before you know it, you two are swapping stories and having a great and engaging conversation. It can be that easy.
3. Something That Happened Today
Another conversation cliche is asking someone about their day. Admittedly, this isn’t always the most exciting thing to talk about, but it can be a nice fallback option if you’re struggling to make conversation. The key is to avoid the boring “How was your day?” question. You want to mix it up by asking “What was the most interesting thing that happened to you today?”or “What was the best part of your day?” These are good questions because they probably can’t be answered with one or two words, making them instant conversation starters. Of course, if something cool or unusual happened to you recently, feel free to lead with that to get the conversation going. Just make sure it’s an interesting story that women will enjoy and find entertaining rather than boring or gross.
Okay, so not everyone is a pet person, but it’s usually a safe assumption that the woman you’re talking to has a pet or has had one in the past. If that ends up being the case, there’s a good chance she loves talking about her pet, so try to get her focused on that as much as possible. Remember, you want to get a woman talking about something that she likes; that way, she’ll equate talking to you with happiness, which is why pets can be such a great conversation topic. Plus, if you both share a passion for pets or have the same kind of pet, you can ask her on a date under the ruse of setting up your pets on a playdate. It can be a wonderful loophole if you’re shy or nervous about asking a woman out.
5. Career Goals
We touched on this when discussing work life, but it’s important enough to mention again. Asking a woman about her career goals is an important topic to get to when you’re trying to get to know her. The key is to avoid making it sound like a job interview, so under no circumstances should you ever ask a woman, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Instead, get her talking about her career and then casually ask, “So, what would your dream job be?” This gets her talking about her passion and dreams without making it seem like you’re playing a game of 20 Questions with her.
6. Straightforward Question
If you’re a little desperate for an ice-breaker or a conversation topic, it’s not the worst thing in the world to resort to one of those cliche questions like, “What are you drinking?” or “Where’d you get that cool outfit?” The trick here is to try to hide a compliment in any question you ask. For example, “That shade of lipstick looks amazing on you, what color is it?” To be frank, these questions aren’t going to get you all that far in conversation with a woman. But sometimes you just to start somewhere, right?
7. Her Passions
There’s a reason that a woman’s passions and interests keep coming up on this list. It’s because they’re an important thing to talk about if you’re interested in someone and a great way to get a woman to enjoy your conversation. However, don’t think that you have to focus solely on her work-related interests and passions. Remember that there’s a lot more to women than what they do for a living. You’ll want to find out her passions beyond that. Does she really like kids? Does she do volunteer work? Some of this will be covered if you ask about her hobbies, but don’t be afraid to pry a little deeper into the conversation to get to know a woman even better.
Generally, you want to keep things positive when talking to a woman, but there can be exceptions to that. Finding a shared dislike of something can also be a good way to bond and make conversation with someone. You probably don’t want to start off a conversation by asking about her dislikes, but if she mentions something she can’t stand or seems upset by something, don’t be afraid to chime in and see where the conversation goes. It’s not the most conventional method of impressing a girl, but perhaps she’ll enjoy being able to vent about something she hates with you.
The Advanced Class
1. Something Around You
If you’re struggling for conversation, you can always rely on your keen sense of observation. Mention a song that’s playing, something you see on the wall, or something about the room you’re in that seems off. You aren’t likely to hit a conversation gold mine with one of these, but it’ll get things started. As long as you pick out something interesting around you, there’s no telling where it’ll lead. Remember, initiating conversation is half the battle, so anything you can do to get your foot in the door is a good thing.
2. The Craziest Thing She’s Done Lately
Admittedly, I stole this line from the movie The Girl Next Door. Nevertheless, this can be a good way to get a girl talking. It’s a somewhat unusual question, so you probably don’t want to use it as an ice-breaker. But it’s a good line to use when you can feel the conversation starting to lag. The key is to say it with confidence, making it clear that you’re curious and not creepy. If you think it’ll help, share a crazy story you have before asking the girl to share one. Just make sure your story is quick so you can get the conversation focused back on your partner as soon as possible.
3. Favorite Childhood Memory
Obviously, this isn’t a top you can bring up anytime you want. If you’re out at a club or bar, you probably don’t want to be swapping childhood stories with someone. But in the right setting, it can be a great conversation to have with a woman you’re dating or at least interested in dating. Unless they had a crappy childhood, most women will enjoy a stroll down memory lane and they’ll find it endearing that a guy was curious enough to ask. Naturally, it’ll help if you can reciprocate with some childhood memories of your own, but for the most part, you’ll want to listen to what she has to say.
4. The Right Compliment
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that women like to be complimented, so you should always try to work a few into the conversation. Of course, it has to be the right compliment. You don’t want to be too superficial or too sleazy with your compliment, even if your intentions are good. It should be something that you noticed about her but not something super obvious. Also, remember that the point is to make a woman feel good about herself while also trying to move the conversation along. If it’s something that she’ll respond with a simple “Thanks” before moving on, it’s probably not the compliment you want. This will take some thinking, so find something about the girl that’s both flattering and something that will jumpstart a conversation.
5. Fun Things to Do
When you’re seriously interested about asking someone out on a proper date, this is a great way to lead the conversation. Just find a way to casually mention a new club or restaurant in town or an activity that you always wanted to try but never got around to doing. This can be a good way to learn about some of her likes and interests while also gauging her interest on a possible date to one of those places. It’s actually a rather clever way to kill two birds with one stone.
6. Something You Overcame
Normally, you want to focus on the conversation on the woman and not yourself, but this can be one of the exceptions. Sharing a story about a time you overcame some kind of obstacle in your life can be a great excuse to dominate the conversation. I shouldn’t have to say this, but I will, this story should be true, just so we’re clear about that. The goal here is to open up to the girl and tell her more about yourself without making it seem like you’re bragging about one of your great life accomplishments. Hopefully, she’ll be interested in your story and either share one of her own or have some follow up questions for you to keep her engaged in the conversation.
Okay, so this definitely isn’t an easy topic to talk about with someone you haven’t known for that long. If you’re not comfortable talking about it, feel free to stay away from it. But if you’re confident in your conversational skills, you can talk about love in the abstract. You could also mention love as it relates to your parents or some of your friends or even from what you’ve seen in movies. Be aware that most women will be freaked out by talking about love with someone they just met. But once you reach a certain comfort level with someone, this can be a nice topic of conversation that most women will enjoy.
Along those same lines, it’s perfectly fine to discuss relationships with a woman. By this, I don’t mean your relationship; you don’t want to get ahead of yourself. But if one of your friends or family members is having some relationship drama, it’s not such a bad thing to discuss it with a woman to get her perspective on it. Many women enjoy a little bit of gossip and will be glad to offer up some advice or an opinion. If nothing else, this is the kind of topic that should keep a woman interested and keep the conversation going while helping the two of you get to know each other a little better.
9. Her Sources of Motivation
This is an area of conversation that most guys aren’t going to think to go, but it can be a great way to show a girl that you really want to get to know her better. Anybody can ask a girl about her career, life goals, and hobbies, but if you want to stand out from the pack and have a great conversation with a woman, ask her what why those her goals and passions and what motivates her to pursue them. It’s possible she may not even be ready to be asked a question like that. However, it’ll impress her and help set you apart as someone she enjoys talking to.
10. Reasons to be Grateful
This is another conversation topic that’s a little out of left field, but again, that will help endear you to a woman who’s probably sick of having the same old conversations with men. Obviously, it’s not a conversation you can happen just about anywhere, but in a quiet setting, a great conversation starter could be, “What’s something that you’re grateful for in your life?” Of course, if you ask that question, you better be ready to answer it as well, so be prepared. On the bright side, this can be a great way to connect with someone on a deeper level.
11. Her Personal Hero
Admittedly, this feels like a 20 Questions type thing, but it can be a great conversation starter. Even if a girl hasn’t given much thought to her own personal hero, she’ll have one, and she’ll be intrigued by a guy who asks her about it. If you couldn’t tell, this isn’t exactly a great ice-breaker. But once you get a girl talking, this can be a great way to move past small talk and toward a more substantial topic of conversation. The only thing that could go wrong here is if you’ve never heard of the person the girl you’re talking to mentions as her hero; if that ends up happening, this could backfire in a big way.
Outside the Box
1. Share a Secret
Needless to say, this is going to take some courage. It’s not easy sharing secrets with someone who you may not know that well, which is why you’ll get bonus points from a woman by going out on a ledge and sharing a secret. Exactly what secret you share is up to you, so it doesn’t have to be something deep and dark, just something that will intrigue a girl and make her want to keep talking to you. If the girl you’re talking to wants to reciprocate by sharing a secret of her own, that’s probably a sign that things are going well. However, you shouldn’t push her into telling you a secret too, but if you make her feel comfortable and show her that you can be trusted with a secret.
2. Give Her a Weird Choice
It’s time to get creative with the kinds of questions you ask a woman to start a conversation. You can even play question games like would you rather. Even a good truth or dare can extend a conversation. Come up with a crazy choice for her to make, something clever and comical. For instance, “Who would make a better rapper, Abraham Lincoln or Benjamin Franklin?” Perhaps ask her, “What would make a better pizza topping, tuna fish or salmon?” Yes, on the surface, this may sound kind of stupid, but if the girl has a good sense of humor, it should get her laughing, and that’s not something to take lightly when talking to women. There is no wrong way to go about this, you just have to come up with something funny and weird that will get her attention and get her talking.
3. Conspiracy Theories
Who hasn’t talked to women about conspiracy theories, right? Once again, this is definitely out of left field, but if you find the right girl, it can be an effective conversation starter. Whether we’re talking about UFOs, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, or the Bermuda Triangle, most people have a lot to say about conspiracy theories. Of course, some people don’t care about these things one way or another, but if you can hit on the right conspiracy with the right person, the conversation can go on for hours. If this isn’t your jam, that’s fine, but you have to admit that this topic could lead to a great conversation.
4. How Terrible Men Are
You didn’t think you’d see this on a list of conversation topics when talking to women, did you? Yes, at first glance, this topic seems a little counterintuitive. But if you approach it the right way, it can work. Most women, especially those who are slightly older, have probably had plenty of bad experiences with men. That’s why you have to admit to the shortcomings of our entire gender right off the bat and position yourself as being different from everyone else. Start the conversation by saying, “Don’t you hate how men are always (fill in the blank).” Then say, “Don’t worry,” and explain how you’re going to take a different approach. Most girls will be caught a little off guard, but most will also agree with you when you mention one of the many flaws men have. The point is that she’ll probably agree with the first thing you ever say to her, and that’ll get your foot in the door and get the conversation started.
5. Favorite All-Time Activist
This is another oddball question that comes from the weirdest game of 20 Questions you’ll ever play. But with an intelligent woman, it can be a great conversation starter. Look, most of us don’t going around all day paying homage to our favorite activist, but most people should have someone they’ve always admired. From Martin Luther King to Malala, most people can come up with an activist they like, which makes this a good conversation starter. Obviously, this isn’t the most conventional way to go, but it’s not the worst thing to talk about with a woman you like.
6. Something Embarrassing (About Yourself)
This is definitely going to test your confidence and self-esteem. But if you’re secure with yourself, a great way to start a conversation with a woman is to tell her something embarrassing about yourself. Obviously, this can’t be something too personal since you don’t know her that well yet or something that’s going to scare her off. However, something that you wouldn’t share with just anyone can be disarming and help break down barriers. Plus, if it’s an embarrassing secret that will get the girl to ask a lot of follow up questions, it’s almost guaranteed to lead to an interesting conversation. I’m not saying this should be the first thing you try to engage in a conversation, but it can be an effective tactic when you need one.